Rookie Privileges
by stranger12
Summary: Being a rookie sucked sometimes


**Southland – Rookie Privileges**

Being a rookie sucked sometimes

* * *

Cooper, the son of a whore, took one look at the guy they had to arrest and with a snort, he motioned for Sherman to cuff him and put him on the backseat of the squad car. As in, put his fairly clean hands on the dirtiest liquor store robber that L.A. had ever seen. As in, even step close to the guy.

Being a rookie was the worst thing in the world sometimes, and Sherman just happened to be lucky enough to be partnered with Cooper who, despite being an outstanding officer was also a mean asshole.

"Alright, c'mon, man" – he sighed and pulled out his cuffs – "You know the drill, keep you hands behind your back" – the guy dutifully did as told, since his gun had been confiscated and he was kissing the sidewalk under Cooper's unforgiving heel – "Don't make me mad, man, this is already way harder for me than it is for me" – he told him as he tried not to gag.

Honestly? He had smelled better dumpsters behind Chinese restaurants.

"Hey, take it easy, copper, I'm behaving, ain't it?" – the guy, who had refused to give his name, complained as Sherman roughly pulled him to his feet, inadvertently having to stand far too close to him. The man even turned to speak right at Sherman, who gagged and coughed to the other side at the sheer smell, if one might be so bold as to call it simply that, from his mouth.

Suddenly, Sherman understood how Will Turner felt well Captain Jack Sparrow so much as huffed in his direction, he had a feeling it wasn't half a bad as this, though, 'cause even Cooper nearly chocked, and he was standing a few feet away.

"Wow, seriously, do you sleep in rotten meet and eggs? What's the deal, man?" – Sherman begged as Cooper kindly opened the car door and he had to put his hand on the robber's hair.

He didn't even want to think of how long he would need to rub it under hot water to get the stink out.

"Fuck you, copper" – the guy said before Sherman could slam the door – "It's a medical condition, if you must know, and you can't discriminate me for it"

"Dear Lord" – Cooper mumbled as they reluctantly climbed the car.

To say that being outside in close contact with the guy was bad was a euphemism. To say that being in a car with the guy was the worst experience in Sherman's life was actually not that big a stretch, and if he had to guess, even street tough, hardass Cooper would agree with him wholeheartedly.

"Congratulations, rookie" – the older man said as they quickly rolled the windows down, though it helped little – "You've just earned the right to clean the car after we book him. In fact, I'll book him and you can get started on the clean–up. I think it'll be a rough one"

"You're the worst teacher in the entire world" – Sherman said, for once not giving a shit about what Cooper might do to him in retaliation. I mean, he had had to touch the human hazard, a few times, and he was going to have to rid the squad car of his stench (which he wasn't even sure was possible, to tell you the truth), what more would Cooper possibly do to 'im?

"Wait, I'm sorry, no. You will take him to booking yourself while I grab you some cleaning supplies, and then I will enjoy a nice, cold drink while I supervise your work"

"... Okay, I take it back"

"No can do, buddy, that's how it's gonna go down" – Sherman didn't think he had ever, EVER, heard Cooper so cheerful. That the man could do cheerful only when handing his younger partner the shittiest jobs known to man wasn't so much surprising as all too obvious, and Sherman didn't know how he didn't pick up on it back at the liquor store.

Of course his day was gonna get worse.

"Hell no, hell NO!" – Cooper screamed the moment the two officers smelled literally the worst smell in the world, their passenger certainly included.

"Sorry, I had cabbage for lunch, so sue me!"

"Don't tempt me, man, I am this close–!" – Sherman yelled at the robber.

"Man, I feel bad for the suckers who get this car after us" – Cooper commented as they tried not to gag.

"So sure I'm not gonna do a good job?"

"If you can get rid of THIS smell, you're in the wrong fucking business, man, 'cause I don't think a fucking grenade could do the job, as is"

"This is bullshit! It's– It's– It's smell profile!"

"Oh my God, shut the fuck up!" – Sherman begged, 'cause the guy was sitting right behind him and–

He should probably take a moment to cancel his date for the night, he had a feeling even he wouldn't like being around himself for a while.

* * *

I haven't seen the show in a while, so hopefully it was in-character enough.


End file.
